When You Bury the Past, Bury it Deep

[lupintrois]

Neither Albert nor Lupin want to admit how much they're enjoying this. Matching wits with someone at your level, hiding your vulnerabilities while showing off all the places you've improved, trying to figure out where the other still has weaknesses or has adapted to them over the years. It's a thrill, and a very distracting one.

Which is why Lupin fucks up the timing, and in the middle of Albert pretending he doesn't know the 'Tickey' is Lupin and Lupin pretending he doesn't know Albert knows, the actual Tickey shows up.

"Uh."

He stands in the doorway, staring at the perfect copy of himself lounging against the couch. Albert fumbles, wide-eyed, while Lupin just gives his double a flirty wink and sashays out the door. Albert's left to make weak excuses about covert operations tech experimentation, and someone in his department being a joker, and he's not entirely sure Tickey buys it. Still, Tickey shrugs and fetches the wallet he'd forgotten in Albert's bedroom.

"So like that Lupin guy, yeah?"

"Yeah....like him."

There are things Albert keeps from Tickey, and Tickey knows and respects it. Lying is different - lying means keeping track of all the lies you'd told before, and the more you lie the easier it is to sleep up, and directly lying to him would be harder for Tickey to forgive. Lupin has, in one simple accident, made Albert more vulnerable and that lights a cold anger in him that hadn't been there before.

He scraps his original plan, and instead escalates to a point he never thought he'd get to. Fuck that hairy little scarecrow, trying to be the gum in his gears, a pesky fly annoying a giant to death. France has no need of such pests.

The next step is conducted completely off the grid, no chance of messages being diverted or erased by Lupin's pet hacker. Zenigata receives an message by courier mail sending him out to a town in rural France. Once he's there, anonymous notes left in his room and a package sent to his hotel by mail will guide him to a smaller town, and then a graveyard with a specific hill that overlooks the valley and is lit beautifully when the sun begins to set. It's old and the stones are all worn down with centuries of rain and wind, save for the grave on the hill. When asked, the old gravetender will say he he has no idea who's buried in that grave, but he will have some intel on the strange man who comes to visit it every couple of years and lays lupines at its base, then pays in cash to make sure it's maintained.

If Zenigata couldn't put it together himself, a few more items he finds in his room upon his return will clarify the matter - one or two photos, some signed notes, a newspaper clipping about a routine juvenile arrest.

When Lupin killed and buried his old self, he didn't know the term for the identity you left behind would one day be known as a 'deadname'.

But he put up a headstone for her anyway. She'd gotten him this far, after all. It was the least he could do.

Comments

[zenigatcha]

"I didn't know that," he says -- who knows if that's true or not. He might, and just be willing to lie for Lupin's preservation of mystery, or he may genuinely not. But the thing sounds... well. Very Lupin.

So does burying a name you don't use anymore. A family tradition, shedding old names for new. That, too, very Lupin.

"I suppose it makes sense to come back to the places that helped him on his journey to the person he wanted to be," Zenigata muses. "Everyone has their rituals to remember such things. For me it's specific dojos, places I learned. Makes sense to me that he'd come back to the place he found his calling."

[lupintrois]

"Yeah. It's...like. You're not that person anymore, but you're grateful that the person you used to be got you far enough to become you." He regards the wine bottle label, pursing his lips. "And you figure the least you can do for them is give them a nice place to rest after you kill them."

[zenigatcha]

"Kill seems like such a strong word," Zenigata says, hand finally going still against Lupin's back. "Killing a thing ends it, but... I should like to think, like the diamond necklace, there was some value in having it, then then value in setting it aside, too. Sometimes you have to be what you're not to figure out who you are. When someone decides to be their authentic self, the person you were ... you can still look back on them and say, 'I learned so much from that, but it's not what I am now.' Even if the lessons are sometimes harsh and the learning hurts."

He can see in his own mind's eye the Zenigata's of the past -- the rebellious teen who got into trouble, who carried his troubles onward across an ocean to try and escape fate, and then the acceptance of the weight of history, before finding out what he'd been running from all his life is where he was happiest.

It probably isn't like that for Lupin, Zenigata thinks. It is probably harder and more hurtful, to cocoon up and then break free like some larcenous butterfly. But he tries to empathize, to see what that could be like.

"You know I've been reading a lot in my spare time. Some books Ami's therapist suggested," Zenigata added, tilting his head so he can tuck Lupin up to him and offer a protective, welcoming space there in his arms. "It helped me figure some things out about-- names that are dead. Affirmations, all that. But I don't know how to tell you that regardless of where you came from that the person I value is right here. It just seems best to plainly tell you I love you. All of you, right here, with me. No gravestone is going to change that. You are Lupin, my Lupin, and that's all that matters to me. If you need more, I'll do it for you."

[lupintrois]

Lupin is quiet. Chatterbox that he is, it's rare to have any conversation hold such long, indulgent silences. He's fidgeting a bit, and Zenigata may notice his own wallet dipping in and out of his pockets as aimless fingers pick at whatever they can grasp.

We must admit that it was sufficient to turn the head of a boy at that age. It was all so easy. He had simply to desire the thing, and reach out his hand to get it -- and so he reached out with both hands.

"You know. Even Jigen and Goemon...they haven't met her. They know a thing or two but they haven't...it never seemed to be a conversation they'd want anyway. But then there's you." His voice is almost shaking. The brave, confident thief, having trouble putting his words together. It's not fear of being left behind, no, not the way he sits comfortable in those arms. More a fear of betraying himself.

"Would you...would you want to meet her? Go by and..." He swallows hard. "Pay some respects, tomorrow? It's a beautiful place, at sunrise."

[zenigatcha]

Unsurprised that Jigen and Goemon haven't pried, Zenigata doesn't ask 'why not.' Indeed, they've buried their own pasts in secret places, and know better to disturb old bones lest they shake of their own accord and chase after anyone who disturbs their grave.

"You know," Zenigata said as he slides his hand over, to give Lupin fingers to weave with, a hand to squeeze. "I was out the other day and picked some wild flowers on a whim."

(He does not say he was drunk and had been burning evidence until the wee hours of the morning. He was. That's not important to the story.)

"They've still bright and colorful, in the vase over by the window. Maybe we can take them to leave for her," Zenigata continued, though he smiled gently. "Do you think that'd be nice?"

[lupintrois]

Jigen and Goemon had no interest in what he was, just what he is. Goemon's ties go to a past so far away it might as well have been myth, while Jigen (and Fujiko, too) had no ties at all beyond what was in the moment. Zenigata was different. What would interest him about a man would be different too, Lupin reasoned.

"I think that would be lovely," Lupin purred. He reached up to give Zenigata another kiss, only to cut off halfway through as he broke down into giggles.

"Oh, god. Albert's face when he realizes we left him with blue balls is gonna be great."

[zenigatcha]

Zenigata grinned then, curling around him as they slip further into the chair, foolish with his joy.

"I've already put in for summer months away with Ami," Zenigata said, nuzzling his thief's hair. The cresent of his smile pressed to Lupin's temple. "I'd like to go home for a bit, then -- we can chase that coin and return my honored ancestor's belongings to the right people. Albert will not be invited."

[lupintrois]

Later, they'll slip away to bed and Zenigata will be able to give Lupin a proper reward for all his hard work, one not quite as satisfying as showing Albert up but satisfying none the less. The next day they'll take the flowers and go up to that graveyard, to that stone on the hill, and Lupin will stand rigid while Zenigata's eyes graze over the name on the stone. Sure, Zenigata's seen it already, but...it's different, with the man himself right there.

But. Lupin's a man who adores in showing off his genius, and somewhere in the back of his head it's bugged him that he could never talk about one of the greatest heists of his career - a disappearing act and a reappearing one, Lupin the Third appearing as if born fully formed like Athene from the brow of the public consciousness.

He talks in vague terms about the person in the grave, leaning on Zenigata the whole time, until the clergyman's wrinkling his nose at the bad taste of making out in a graveyard. When they get home, Lupin gives him his reward back in kind.

Then he texts Ami and tells her to delete the rest of what she's got. The game is over.